Remote School Days

 Well I guess in all my wildest thoughts, I never thought THIS is how I would become a homeschooler... I mean I guess technically it’s “remote schooling” but is it really? I mean don’t you think most moms and dads with kids that are still in elementary school, or parents of special needs kids aren’t really just saying, “Hey kid! Get on your computer and go for it” it’s not gonna be that easy... We were not given the option for in school like some schools in our neighboring areas... Not sure why, but I do have to agree... with the rates, and many schools already closing after one or two weeks, it’s just inevitable and why open up a school, get everything set up for in school only to have to close shortly after, it really doesn’t make much sense, and is not in everyone’s best interest. As parents have to flip flop between in school and then not again... I mean it’s gonna be different...

The truth is, I guess I will find out for sure starting tomorrow just how easy or not easy, or whatever it will be.

My son is so sweet at times, I feel like the most loved mother ever. He was getting out of his room, dressed in jammies and he head wet from his shower, and I said, “are you ready for the first day of school tomorrow?” And he says “I really am!” And wraps his arms around me and says, it won’t be stressful like last year mom,” I hope my sweetheart it right... But with all the uncertainty of when and how I will get back to a job, While juggling so much with my sons academics, therapies and managing my own household... I am quite concerned at this time...

I’d like to say this is temporary, but honestly life is never very dull in my world... lol... I never have much of a dull moment and haven’t known the meaning of bored since my child was born. I went from full time working artist, to married with a kid, being a stay at home mom, to being a separated working full time mom living with my parents, to living with my fiancé and his child and merging families, to finally owning my first home with him at almost 40... not exactly the timeline I had in mind... he he... my life often feels like a crazy whirlwind of which I often do look back, because to me, it’s all so magnificent. I love the life I have lived, the good AND the crazy, and the bad and sad stuff to boot. It’s all beautiful when you step back and look at it all. Like a hallmark movie, full of smiles and cheers and laughter and tears... I am honestly happy for it all. I cannot say I didn’t lead an interesting life. 

I can look back and realize I have been in worse situations... more uncertain situations... One thing my dad used to tell me when I would worry about money was this. He’d say “you know the great thing about money Olivia? You can always make more, there’s so much to go around.” 

Which is hard to remember sometimes, like right now... when I honestly feel like I am at the mercy of Congress, and hoping they will realize there are people who cannot work two full time jobs. That some people cannot work a night shift and still maintain good health..

Today my whole back has been bothering me simply because I wasn’t able to get to my second PT session yesterday... Last year I was diagnosed with a herniated disk in my neck and I have just had many problems since. If I don’t keep up with my PT the pain radiates down my arm and back. I do as much as I can at home, but it’s hard. And if I decide to do a day of yard work, I often will be paying for it for days to come.

I don’t like to complain, but even with my previous job, there would be days I was in so much pain after a long day of hard work. I would be sanding or doing chores and my hands would be engulfed in swelling discomfort the next day. Now I also have a bone spur on my right foot that just decided to show up out of nowhere during the onset of the schools closing last semester... So I have been doing everything I can right now to get my body strong, healthy and back in shape for this school year, and possible new job (whatever that might be). I am continuing to work on my art, and am also feeling really positive about all that too. Reminding myself always that when one door closes, there is always a reason why it did... that many more doors will present themselves. 

All that aside, I am grateful I have a good relationship with my child. Regardless of his ASD, I am so grateful he is very high functioning and that he has responded so well to all the therapies we have provided to him. I am so overwhelmed with the love I have from my fiancé, and his kind reassurance that we will be okay, because we are doing this together. 

So as hard as yesterday was, I am so grateful to have these things... Life is such an uncertain thing, we never fully know what the next day will bring. And we do need to be confident that whatever life gives us, we will make a way, and honestly (if you believe in it) that God will make a way for us. 

And today we got together with a friend of mine, who has a little girl who Ben just connects with, they love to play together at the pool and play Minecraft and I just love that he is able to have these friendships. It’s a special thing. 

So today I am hopeful, I have organized Bens learning area, and we are ready to roll with the punches.